April 2012
Listen
Why...?
- i just wanna know why all this shit has to happen to me? it could happen to any other person in the world but it just has to be me.. what did i do to deserve this? why does my life suck so bad right now? i don’t understand.. i really need some answers right now.
I love you...
i don’t give second chances often, actually never.. but this time is different. although im forgiving you the pain will still be there, in fact i dont think it’ll ever go away but i just don’t want this to get in between us & really fuck things up.. were already in a rough situation i don’t want this to keep adding onto it ya know? so let’s just forget it happened...
Faking a smile & happiness..
All this time passing by. . .
- i’ve just been thinking.. if you asked me, i couldn’t tell you.. just everything is replaying in my head. not even just about you, literally EVERYTHING! i don’t know why this always happens to me… i mean i know other people have it worse but to me this just feels like it’s a never ending process.. this will always happen to me and i just have to accept the fact. i...
- i don’t know if i’m making the right decision with staying but in my mind & my heart i am. it’s gonna take me a really long time to get over this but i know i will.. i have to.
This is all familiar. . .
- not being able to sleep, not being able to eat, feeling numb, no type of motivation to do anything. this always happens to me.
back to the state of depression..
I feel worthless ...
Listen
I'm a failure..
- i’ve come to that conclusion & i’m content with it.. it all makes sense now.
after all is said & done, it’s still my fault in the end.. i never do anything right, why am i even here? …
This is really not normal..
- i feel like i should be seeing/talking to someone about this problem.. it’s gonna land me somewhere i don’t wanna be..
Up all night..
- literally crying my eyes out, doing things, thinking.. i havent slept since 1;27am… my head is POUNDING.. i just wanted last night to be just a nightmare :’/
